From slamming doors and screaming, to resentment and defiance, teenage anger can manifest in many different ways. While some teens seem to be subject to erratic mood swings, others are downright destructive and willfully disobedient. Teenage anger is usually caused by mitigating circumstances in other areas of their life and comes from pent-up emotion rather than purposely acting out.
Experiencing the wrath of the child you gave birth to, clothe and provide shelter to can be a disconcerting feeling, particularly if your teen resorts to physical and verbal violence. Teenage anger may also cause your child to be withdrawn, sarcastic and antisocial. Their behavior may be extremely disruptive to family life to the extent where relationships are irreparably damaged.
Despite the negative impact of anger, the silver lining is, as a parent you are alerted to the fact that there is obviously a problem that needs to be dealt with. At least, you are getting verbal or physical cues that something is wrong, as opposed being blindsided and wondering what went wrong.
Generally, teen anger is caused by deep-seated fear which stems from underlying reasons such as:
The ages of 13 through to 19 is a developmental stage, where teenagers experience a lot of firsts and question their place in the world. The relationship between you and your child may become more strained or distant, as they gain more independence. Letting go and accepting your teenager’s decisions can be a hard road to travel. Frustration and volatile reactions can pave a way to resentment, as you struggle to find middle-ground and set ground rules as to what constitutes acceptable behavior. However, changing the way you react to situations can demonstrate how to appropriately express in more productive ways.
You can diffuse anger by listening to your teen and paying special attention to the way they are feeling. Try and put yourself in their shoes to try and understand the situation from their point of view. Be clear about how you feel without blame or accusations and let your child know you care and love them. Together, try and resolve the problem, even if you have to compromise.
Remember anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration, but the way you react is a choice.